looking back in time

wow, so tonight i get a BLAST from the past: a crush from high school sends me a message on facebook requesting to be my friend and writes this,"why don't i remember you? you are friends with so many of my friends?" ok, let's rewind the clock . . . maybe it's because you wouldn't even pick me up off the ground if i had been lying there, right in front of you, and there was no other way to get out of the building, while there was a raging fire quickly creeping up behind you! in other words, this "crush" wouldn't even give me the time of day in high school. honestly, i'm not surprised he doesn't remember me because i don't even think he even knew i existed back then, despite my every attempt to look my version of beautiful everyday just in the hopes that he'd realize i was the love of his life! anyway, the funny thing about all of this is that of course i HAD to look him up on facebook just to see where he is now and what he's doing. well, all those agonizing teenage years when i cried myself to sleep at night because i hated the color of my skin (trust me, having a natural "tan" before J Lo was cool was a curse, not a blessing, in the dating world), and just wanted to be blonde, skinny, and white(r), were SUCH a waste! this "hunk of all hunks" portrays himself as a big womanizing drunk on facebook! thank you, God, for keeping me away from such trouble!!! strange, how perspectives change! so, maybe it's just my form of mental "payback", but i really had no interest in giving this guy the time of day now, and honestly don't think i ever thought about him after my last footsteps in that school! i wonder how it would have played out during those agonizing teenage years when i thought i was so ugly if i just could have known that God had other plans for me . . . to meet my husband, stay an active member of my church, and have 4 wonderful children, who i adore. it all kind of makes me regret all those wasted tears over hating my appearance and body, and wishing a boy would fall in love with me. although, i don't quite regret all those times i wished that i was, or was LIKE, someone else. because, i wonder if it HAD all been easier, would i have appreciated what i have today? i think that's why God makes things hard for us at times. so that we DO appreciate our blessings . . . whenever they may manifest.